We now know why Wario & Waluigi don’t have girlfriends

In another stunning, savage move by Mario creator Shigeru Miyamoto, it has been revealed why Wario and Waluigi do not have canon girlfriends/princesses of their own. Luigi has Daisy (sorta) and Mario has Peach, so why don’t their evil counterparts have someone waiting for them when they get home?

The reason has been discovered by a recently unearthed 2000 Nintendo Power interview with developers from Camelot Software, known for the Golden Sun and Mario Sports franchises. It turns out, Miyamoto shot down the idea of giving Waluigi and Wario girlfriends because “he didn’t even want to see what they would look like.”

Shigeru is one savage motherfucker. Let the fan fiction writing to rectify this cruel, George R.R. Martin plot twist commence!